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But, I also notice that many describe their own addiction of sorts – to the partner.A love and attachment you cannot shake, despite the consequences. My first suggestion would be to treat with skepticism any advice to take choice 1 over choice 2. And only you will know just how much sadness and anxiety is going to be inherent with either option. He will never tire of feeling your breasts, caressing your ass and watching you bend over. However, deep down inside men are still amazed that anyone would want to have sex with . It’s because when straight men look at other men, all we see are awkward, lumbering goofs with bad manners and hairy bodies. Men have no problem accepting that women are different. He likes your lips, your body, your eyes and the way you smell. Sure, we complain, but I have yet to talk to man who had any idea, no matter how fleeting, that he could change the woman in his life. It’s something like finding yourself holding a hot panhandle and gripping all the more tightly the more it burns. I also encourage you to respond to other postings with a few words of appreciation, support and ideas. There are many more readers of this dialogue than there are responders – you have an interested group here and we want to know what happens. Try viewing your dilemma as four-pronged: Choice 1 would be that you decide to leave your wife and that you do so in the most careful, strategic manner, doing the most that you can to ensure this unfolds as becoming the right choice.Choice 2 would be that you leave in a way that magnifies the potential for a negative outcome, say by being mean, impulsive or passive, neglecting the care of your self, your social network, financial interests and so on. Every man is different but the odds are that most, if not all of these seven points, are fundamentally true for the man your are with right now. If they were, the human race would have died out a long time ago. Having access to frequent, and reliable sex allows us to focus on other things in life like getting a job or developing a hobby. They view good sex as an that the relationship is good. So if you expect your male partner to take the relationship seriously you better be having frequent sex. To put it in caveman terms he’s thinking “she had sex with me, that mean she love me, me happy, me feel good, me now ready to talk.” Because for a man, if you’re not having sex, then there is no “relationship” to talk about.

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Most of my friends tell me to leave her, and my family tells me to stick it out. Note: I first wrote this answer as a way to talk about methods to approach tough dilemmas, and since that time it has grown into the forum you see now.It’s the extra push that get’s you engaged beyond the causal nod stage. There is nothing wrong with this and it’s totally innocent. Is it OK to initiate sex while he’s trying to eat lunch? How about when he’s lying in a hospital bed dieing from cancer. I’ve been to an Al-Anon meeting but it’s not enough.Often, finance, children and other circumstances prevent any simple solutions.

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