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I’ve been in situations that would have been impossible to conceive in my younger days. I used to pull a little trick where in those situations I’d say to myself, “That’s very interesting!” Sometimes I’d have to say it three or four times but it kept me from passing judgment on a different culture. If you do, you won’t be happy and he/she won’t either. There are heads and tails on a coin but in the end, there is only one coin and you can’t have just the heads or the tails.However, when I was living in mainland China and Taiwan, I had a chance to observe, ask questions and learn more from others involved in cross cultural relationships.I am hoping this is more of a “reader contribution” forum rather than just one man’s opinion, so feel free to chime in with your own experiences and observations.Dating begins after college and most importantly, they didn’t believe in casual dating.What I mean by that is that they expected to be friends first until they knew each other well, then the man would ask the woman to be his girlfriend and if she accepted, they were not only dating but seriously dating.

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Marriage was expected to occur and several told me that if they dated two different people and neither worked out, they would let their parents find a spouse for them. They expected the dating rules to be the same as home, and would try to “pick up” girls at bars and when successful, would wonder why the girl was a ‘gold-digger’.

She has a huge English vocabulary and is easy to understand, but for me her accent is charming and I could not imagine her without it. Many times couples will have problems with either set of parents not approving of the relationship.

Plus, I always feel that her English compared to my Chinese is so superior that I would be an idiot to find fault with her. I never had this problem but it can be pretty common with some.

Splitting a person or a culture into parts makes for eventual disappointment. Revel in rather than complain about the differences.

My wife has an accent; she’ll always have an accent since she came here as an adult.

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